All we are is dust in the wind.....

Another weekend update. Life ticks away, every moment, every day.....

A lot on my mind tonight....I don't know how much I feel like sharing though. Forgive me if I'm a little jumpy from topic to topic, my mind is all over the place tonight.

I wish I could grow a beard.

We lost to Ohio State on Saturday. Nothing like watching your team blow a 9 point lead with 6 minutes left to rip your heart out. I was left sick and voiceless, but it all would have been worth it if we had won. Now I have to wait until next season.....

No football game tonight, that was disappointing. Playoffs start next Monday. Oh yeah, Monday night football under the lights in Ann Arbor. I am getting wayyy to excited about flag football. It's a lot of fun though.

One of the worst things about being a thinking person is it's hard to shut that part of your brain off. I'm not able to just do the things I feel I need to do because as soon as I start to, I have 1,000,000 voices in my head that start talking about all of the "what if's?". I wish I could speak my mind, and be spontaneous and just live my life. All this thinking is doing is driving me further down. Sure, it's nice to have this little voice once in a while because it can keep you from doing stupid stuff. But when it keeps you from doing something you need to do for your own well being, to get you out of the state of wondering and waiting, well that's just no good. And that is where I am now.....

Today was one of those days where it seems like all the crap just kept piling up. A blown circuit here, a downed web-site there, an awkward conversation thrown in for good measure. Oh well, it's over now. Tomorrow is another day. At least I had a great picture to look at and keep me smiling.....

I've found myself torn recently, torn between the roads that will lead toward new things. The problem is, I can't be certain as to how these roads will travel, where they will end, how they will get me to where I want to go. I don't know if I will be able to try more than one road, or if they are mutually exclusive. If none of that made sense, don't worry. I'm just thinking out loud.

Break is fast approaching and I can't wait. It's gonna be a great time. I just have to make it through a couple more days, and one more exam, and I'm home free. Wednesday will be spent with the boys, watching the Pis at B-Dubs and having some more good times. Thursday is Thanksgiving which means seeing the family, football, great food, and naps. What could be better? Over the weekend I'm off with my dad to go watch the football state finals in Detroit. We've been going every year for the past 11 years, and I'm sure this one will be just as much fun as all the rest. It's about time I had a break, I'm in need of one. I don't really want to think about what happens after the break right now, but there are 5 more exams, including 3 finals, seperating me from the freedom of winter break. It's gonna be a rough 3 weeks. No sense in worrying about it now though, there's good times to be had.

On a more somber note, I'd like to say something about my grandpa here. It was one year ago that he passed away, and not a day goes by that I don't find myself thinking of him at some point or another. He was always there, sitting through all my sporting events, going to all my school stuff, taking me out to eat. I had some great times with him. It was always a blast to just talk and joke around with him. I remember playing baseball in his backyard, and watching Michigan games with him - yelling at the TV of course. He was a big part of my life, one of my biggest fans and a great model of a man. I can't even remember all the times and ways I've tried to immitate him. Hell, I even cut my hair just like him from ages 5-16. I wish he could have been there to see me graduate, to see me move on to where I am now, to see what I become. I miss you grandpa Wissner...and I love you.

How can I spend my days talking and spending time with my friends, and still feel so alone?

I don't understand some people. I know that's an obvious statement, as all of us don't undertand others from time to time. But like I said, I'm just throwing stuff out here tonight.

Just in writing this, I have inched closer to break. I feel a little better already.

1 month / 8 days / 18 hours / 45 minutes

Well it's late and I better be off. Thanks again my journaly friend.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
BA

Random Quote - Life isn't just about making choices, it's about understanding the choices we make.